Tuesday, September 29, 2009

A new chapter in this part of my life... I believe we shall call it: Paranoia.

After spending a little over 2 weeks in Paris, I am now at my "final destination" in Tours, France. I'm situated with a very nice older couple who have four children, one of whom had twins a couple days ago. I have not met my host mom yet, but my host father seems to be very nice. I am going to be sharing a bathroom with Carlo, the 34 year old who is doing his doctorate and has been in France for 9 months. It's nice to know that I'm not the only person who is a "guest" but it's intimidating at the same time. I'm very thankful to have WiFi here at the apartment. I was worried that it might not work out, but everything is fine. I live very close to the Institute, so that will prove nice when the weather decides to turn sour and wet and ugly. My host father informed me that it is very humid here because they are so close to 2 rivers, so that will be a little adjustment... Probably more humidity than Indiana... We'll see. My room is very nice... Yellow walls and a marble fireplace. As soon as I saw it, I thought, "Oh man, my dad is going to be so jealous." I don't know if it's used regularly, but I wouldn't be opposed to it.

My host father offered me lunch after helping me set up my computer and carrying my luggage up. There was a little trouble communicating because I realized that I have a lot more to learn when it comes to French culture in the kitchen and the vocabulary that supplements it. I ended up lunching on some baguette, tomato, tuna, cheese, and a pear. It was really good, but I felt bad sitting and eating while trying to think of topics of conversation to bring up with my host father. He sat there with me and was patient with me as I tried to talk to him. I'm already getting frustrated with my lack of French and I hate not being able to run over and talk to someone I know.
I cried for the first time today. The last few days in Paris, I was yearning for some solitude and alone time. Now that I am completely alone and in solitude, I want to go back to Paris. The grass is always greener on the other side, eh? I'm very thankful that we are all going to be together as a group for the next few days in Normandy before school starts because that will help me transition, I think.
The reason why I call this chapter of my life "Paranoia" is because I am extremely paranoid that I'm going to do something culturally unacceptable around my host family or that I'll say the wrong thing. My host father has corrected me so many times already, which I appreciate, but it makes me feel as if I should just quit and start speaking English. I've read a couple of books that talk about host families and culture shock, so I think that is feeding my obsession with wanting to make little to no mistakes, which in turn makes me hesitant to speak at all. I know that this is something that I will have to be diligent with, but that work is daunting as an idea. I'm going to be doing a lot of reading and studying in the next few months... and these next couple of days, I will be working on memorizing the most important phrases and concepts so that routine conversations are not so daunting.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Thus passes Saturday...

Yesterday, we all got up about the same time, if not later, as if we were going to school. Instead of going to the Alliance, though, we navigated our way to the Place de la Bastille via the Metro. We waited there for a couple of minutes (like 10) and our director finally showed up. We sat at a café right next to the Metro exit and drank coffee (which was actually a shot of espresso...) while Monsieur Kevin told us about the history of France that lead up to the Revolution. We also witnessed a fist fight. You see, yesterday was a day full of the French Revolution... and lots and lots of walking. After walking around that part of Paris for a little while, we stopped at a great boulangerie to buy lunch and I had the best "pain au chocolat" EVER. We picniced right in front of the Centre George Pompidou, which is a museum of modern art that is designed inside out... If you don't know what I'm talking about, look it up. It's really cool to look at.

After lunch, we walked to the Jardin du Tuleries, which is located right outside of the Louvre on the Eiffel Tower side. From there, you can see Place de la Concorde, the Arc de Triomphe, and the Eiffel Tower. It's a pretty great view. We stood for a while and listened to more about the failures of Louis XVI and the crazy revolutionaries and then we walked a little closer to the Place de la Concorde. I had been there two years ago, but never had I actually walked there. That place still gives me the chills. There are few places that do, but the historical significance of things like the Revolution lend so much meaning and connection to such a place. There, we saw a cyclist run over a pigeon. That was traumatic because other pigeons started pecking at it... and then I couldn't watch anymore. It was cleaned up pretty quickly, but it was nonetheless disturbing.

We went to an amazing chocolate/decadent pastisserie thing after that and it was amazing. We waited in line for about 30 minutes for this and my chocolate thing cost like 7 euros... Thank you, taxpayers of Ohio... (This is what Monsieur Kevin says when we don't have to buy something for food... he just uses the money that BGSU has allotted to him... It's pretty great when that happens. Let's just say I'm thankful for the taxpayers of Ohio.) Then, we went to the Panthéon, which is really close to where we live. We went down into the Crypte, which is where a lot of famous people are buried, such as Victor Hugo, Alexandre Dumas, Jean Moulin, Jean Monnet, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Voltaire, Marie Curie, and more. It was so cool. I enjoyed this place so much more than the crypt at St. Denis, where all the royalty is buried.

We went home and rested after that, which was nice because I felt like my feet were rendered useless... I started reading "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime" which I bought at a used bookstore here and it is really intriguing. It's about an austic boy, which is not a usual topic for a bestselling book... And so far, it's been really charming... That might not be the right word for it, but you should look it up sometime. Anyways, we (meaning all 11 of us with the BGSU program) went out last night around 10pm in search of the free dance lessons on the Seine River. After walking for a while, we found it and somehow accummulated 7 bottles of wine. We sat down and watched the salsa dancers and it was very interesting, but also very weird. I was asked to dance by this older man, like the age of a grandpa, and he was nice, but that is all the "dancing" I did. Abbey and I wandered down to the next group of dancing, which was much more classy and ballroom-type dancing. It was so cute to watch the couples dance. There was an older couple there and they were really good. By this time, it was 12:30am and I was really tired, so a group of us headed back to the Foyer. Even then, I didn't get to bed until 1:30... Oh well. I did pretty well compared to the others.

Today, I'm going to go visit my friend from the Alliance and hang out a little bit, then go to church, skype, then go down to the Eiffel Tower for one last time, then to the banks of the Seine River for a different type of experience of just hanging out with people and talking. I'm really excited about it. I don't know what Monday looks like, so I think I'll just take one day at a time right now. We might go see Sacre Coeur... I also want to go to Musée d'Orsay. We'll see.

Friday, September 25, 2009

And to think that 2 weeks ago, I was a scared little girl...

Well, maybe I'm still a scared little girl... somewhere inside me... Maybe...

Being a Friday, I find myself wanting to go out and do something, but I also don't want to go out at all. I finished the fourth and final paper for the Paris part of the program, which ended up being about Versailles, so that feels great. It feels like I shouldn't be allowed to feel like I have nothing I need to do. I might create tasks just to give my life purpose. For instance: I will run up and down the 7 flights of stairs in less than 3 minutes. I must cut all the apples in my room in half before I eat them. I should short-sheet my roommate's bed... See, all those things would grant a little more purpose to my life, but that just sounds like a lot more work than necessary. So, maybe I'll be ok with relaxing... Whatever that is.

I was walking out onto the street with Abbey today and I remembered what it was like to walk into the Foyer for the first time. We didn't know any one else in the group really and we just asked the person closest to us to be our roommate... and then, when we wanted to leave for the first time, we had no idea what to do... The last time I stayed in Paris, we had to turn the key in before we left... Abbey and I were at a loss, so we stood there and watched other people come and go... And then we figured it out. We felt a little silly, needless to say. That whole trip was rather interesting because we were starving and we were trying to find food, but we couldn't figure out how to get a lot of the food vendors' attention, so we just ended up walking into a store and buying pain au chocolat (croissant with chocolate inside, for those of you who are not familiar with French goodness...) Yeah, that whole experience makes me laugh...

Yesterday, Abbey and I went to Les Invalides, a building built by Louis XIV for military purposes, including an infirmary, and it was pretty great. It is full of military museums and I thought of my brothers, Ben especially, as I peered at the signs. We are girls, so naturally, we didn't want to pay money to go look at weapons, so we just walked around. Abbey then went to the Musée Rodin while I went back to the Foyer. I could have taken the Metro, but I needed to clear my head. My mission was to get some good exercise while looking Parisien. I think I accomplished both. I also was my normal self and almost fell, for no reason, twice. One guy saw me do the whole ankle roll thing and I think he followed me for a couple of blocks to make sure I wasn't going to fall into traffic... I then made it my mission to lose him. And I did.
As I walked, I saw people with cameras, white atheltic shoes, and confused faces and I chuckled to myself. I'm not far removed from that, but it seems so long ago since everything in Paris was daunting and confusing. Not to say that I know everything, because I definitely don't... I just feel like I've been here a long time and I'm sad that I'm going to be leaving for another foreign place. It's ok, though. These two weeks have been great for getting to know other people and getting to know more about myself. I know that sounds strange, but I have learned so much about people during this time... Things that I couldn't have learned in Colorado Springs...

Tomorrow, we are going on an early excursion to the Revolutionary part of Paris, meaning the key places linked with the French Revolution, just to clear any confusion... I don't know how long that will take, but I'm excited to be walking around and learning more about one of my most favorite times in history. Then, we (not the whole group, but those interested) are going to go to the banks of the Seine and check out the free dancing lessons that go on every night there. I'm so excited for that. On Sunday, I'm going to go to visit with a German girl I met in my class, which I think is pretty great. As silly, sheltered, and American as that sounds, I'm totally excited to have friends from different countries! Well, Julia is just from one country, but I hope to make more friends... haha.

I do miss America, though. I could really use a cup of hot chocolate and some popcorn that I could curl up with on this chilly evening... Just two things among many to look forward to when I come home in December :)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The American Girl Who came to Paris and Left it Without Any Peanut Butter...

Yes. It's sad. I finished off my jar of Skippy Natural Peanut Butter yesterday... I thought it would have lasted longer, but then I must have forgotten who was involved... Ha. Of course I'm going to eat peanut butter with French dark chocolate. Of course I'm going to eat pb with fresh baguettes... Of course I'm going to eat pb by the spoonful when I feel overwhelmed... These are the reasons why I now find myself peanut butter-less in Paris. There are worse things to be, but I find myself a little nostalgic that it's gone...

It's been an interesting past couple of days... I mean, I went to Versailles on Sunday... And I can't remember if I posted that already or not... ha. The group went on an excursion today to St. Denis, which is where the majority of past kings and queens are "buried." I wasn't creeped out at all by this until our director said it gave him the "heebie jeebies" and then I really started thinking about it... Then he took us down into the crypt and into this small room with high black marble walls with inscriptions... and told us that the room contained all the bones of past monarchs behind the walls... And the girl beside me started hyperventilating and trying not to freak out... Which I thought was peculiar at first, but then I really started thinking about it... and then the smell of decay really got to me. Needless to say, I was done with the crypt before the tour had even started. I walked around for a little while, looking at the sculptures on top of the "tombs" while listening to the audio guide for about half an hour... then I wanted out. The icing on the cake was when I came across the dried-up heart of Marie Antoinette's son in a glass display in the crypt. I have a hard time believing that that was the real thing, but the thought of it actually being that gives ME the heebie jeebies.

I was so thankful to leave there. We were also outside of the main part of Paris, which is not very safe after a certain time, so we were all eager to get back to the Latin Quarter (which is where we live in the Foyer). Now I'm procrastinating in writing my fourth and final paper for this time in Paris. I chose to write on Versailles, which I enjoyed learning about while I was there on Sunday... Hopefully that goes smoothly. Tomorrow, Abbey and I hope to visit Les Invalides, which was built by one of the Louis... I think it was Louis XIV, but I could be wrong...

I have two days of class left at the Alliance Française, which brings bittersweet feelings. I've really enjoyed not having to work too hard but have fun in the class, but I'm also looking forward to a more challenging class schedule in Tours. I'm also pumped for meeting my host family and get settled into a routine. I'm going to miss having the "dorm" style living here though... Every one has their own host family and we won't be able to stop in and visit with each other as much... I had a great talk with one of the girls here last night. God was so good in opening a window and orchestrating the opportunity for me to share my testimony with her. I'm so excited about the things we talked about and it's great that we have the remaining 3 months for whatever God has planned! In talking with another person from Taylor, we just marveled at the opportunities that God has opened for us, just here in Paris, to share what we believe and for people to say they want to know more. If you had asked me this summer before I left for France, I would have said that I was petrified that I was going to fail at being a witness for my Lord and Savior and that I was going to be spiritually drained and remain drained... But praise the Lord, I was so wrong. Not only have I been drained, but I have been replenished by my brother and sister in Christ here in Paris and seeing other people pursue answers for their questions by seeking Christ! I am so thankful for my sovereign God... Each time I think that He'll overlook something, I'm gently reminded that God is not human... he is all-knowing and he has a deeper compassion and love than humans can understand... What a great Father!

I have a few days left in Paris... We leave on Tuesday morning, heading to Tours where we meet our host families and then we're off the next day to Normandy for four days. We'll then get back to Tours on October 4th. Classes at the Tourraine Institute begin on October 5th. I'm a little nervous for that, but like I mentioned earlier, I'm excited to start real school.

Friday, September 18, 2009

One week down, one (ish) to go!

After spending 20 hours in the classroom this week, I've learned French, made friends with lots of people, and decided that 4 hours of class each day is not healthy for anyone. Even though we have a 20 minute break, I feel so exhausted and hungry after that I trudge back to my room and collapse on my bed. The past two days, I have taken at least 1.5 hour naps... And people say that you shouldn't sleep in Paris... I don't know how they do it... I mean, I prefer to remember what I see. Just a thought...

After class today, we had to hightail it to the Boulevard du Palais to meet Monsieur Kevin who led us through the Sainte Chapelle, the former resting place of the Crown of Thorns. This place is literally right next to Notre Dame, but we (Abbey, Emily W., and I) could barely find it. I was getting frustrated because we were running late and we all have trouble reading maps... So, we finally found the group 10 minutes late... Thankfully it wasn't a big deal because we spent the next 45 minutes in line. I felt a little silly for being so stressed... and for pulling the typical "Bridget" of being peeved for arriving late... The building was beautiful though!

After visiting there, Kevin, Abbey and I took the Metro to the oldest Mosque in Paris. I was already out of my comfort system by going to a part of the city I had never seen before, then to walk down the street toward a mosque... a park surrounded by police... approach a huge mosque and enter into it... It was beautiful and there were a few other tourists in the entryway, but I felt awkward peering into their central garden. Kevin spent the majority of his summer with Middle-Easterners, so he was right at home and soaking it in. He suggested that we could go in even further, but I said that I wasn't quite comfortable with that, so we left. I felt kinda bad, but my "broading-my-horizons" meter had been maxed out for the hour. Looking back on it, I loved it. I feel like the next time I visit a mosque, I should know more about the Muslims and be able to appreciate and evaluate what and who are there.

It's finally Friday, though. Yesterday seemed to last forever! Last night even seemed like an eternity. After visiting the Eiffel Tower with the lights sparkling, I was in bed by a decent time, but I failed in sleeping... Well, sleeping as in reaching a REM cycle... Hopefully tonight will prove to be more successful.

Tomorrow, Abbey and I are going to visit the Musée de Renods (or something like that...) and the "Invalides" (the building where all the injured soldiers were put during the wars). All of that is in the morning... then I get to skype :) Then, we're going to a chateau about one hour away called... V-something... I forget. Not Versailles, cuz that's on Sunday... I dunno. Anyways, this weekend is going to be really busy, so I probably won't go out tonight. And I'm sooo ok with that :)

Also, we had croissants for breakfast this morning. Normally we just have pieces of baguettes and juice/coffee/tea... but today, we were able to have croissants. So, my first croissant on this trip was "free"... :) That made me happy. Now, I have to do homework... It's not challenging, but it's good practice. I'm thinking about asking the teacher on Monday if I can move up, even though there's only a week left of class... We'll see what happens, eh?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Getting in the groove

After having class for three days, I think I can say that I thoroughly enjoy Paris. I mean, who can say that they get to walk to school through the Luxembourg Garden? And stops in a café and is given free cappuccino and pain au chocolat on her first day of school? And gets to make friends with people from all over the world and learn more French at the same time? Yeah. I feel pretty blessed.

The level of French in the intermediate class has not been a huge challenge, but I've enjoyed answering questions and helping other students in the class. It's been a good way to test my teaching abilities, I think... :) My favorite people to help are Julia, the German girl, and Mickele, the tall, skinny, teddy bear Italian. It's also nice to have less homework from this class so that I can work on my reports for Monsieur Kevin, the program director. It took me about 5 hours yesterday to finish my report on la Cité... That wasn't pleasant, but at least it's over and I didn't have any other homework.

This morning, Abbey and I left the Foyer early in order to find a place to print off our reports that are due tomorrow. We wandered around in the streets for about 10 minutes before we found the Cyber Café right next to one of the Alliance Française buildings. It was closed, so we resolved to check after class. As soon as school was over, I went over there and printed off our papers. In there, I found so many assortments of paper and I realized that all my panicking at the beginning of finding paper was in vain because it was here all along... if only I had been braver in exploring... Oh well. At least I know of a place to get more paper if I need it...

We went to the Cathedral at Chartres today after class at Alliance Française and it was great. As I approached the lovely Notre Dame, I remembered being there two years ago and how much I loved it back then. Malcom Miller, a nice elderly English gentleman who has been working at the cathedral for 50 years sat us down for 2 hours and told us about some of the stained glass windows and the history of the building. It was a great experience! After that, we had time to wander around the town a little. Most of the shops were closed, but I took a few people to a patisserie (pastry shop) that I visited two years ago and we all got something to tide us over until we got back to Paris.

I've decided that I enjoy taking the train. Getting my luggage through the metro to the Gare Montparnasse will not be fun in 1.5 weeks, but that's a ways off, so I'll worry about that when I get there. Tomorrow will be another slower day, sans excursion. I'm looking forward to that because I'll work on homework after class and maybe go to the Eiffel Tower and that area over there. That's the tentative plan.

It's hard to believe I've almost been here one week. It's been a great week... eventful and dydactic... but great.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Un jour libre à la Paris (A Free Day in Paris)

After staying up until 2am last night, getting to know the students here in my program from BGSU, I was looking forward to a nice slow day... and it really was a great day!

My routine of breakfast and quiet time with God on the terrace of the Foyer where I live has become one of my favorite times of the day. While other people are sleeping, I like hiking up seven flights of stairs and plopping down on a green plastic chair, breathing hard and gazing at the Eiffel Tower and Le Sacre Coeur... and beginning my day with my Savior. I hope this routine can continue. I hope the weather continues to be this nice!

Later, Abbey and I went in search for food, but many of the sandwicheries are closed on Sundays, so we had to look for a while. We came upon a Croissanterie, which also had sandwiches in addition to yummy pastries :) We bought lunch and walked back and ate lunch on the terrace. Then, we hung out in the room until church. My friend from Colorado Springs and church sent me the address of an international church that she visited with our church a while ago, so the three Taylorites set out to visit the church, which turned out to be about 10 minutes by foot from where we live. It was such a great experience to worship God in English surrounded by people from all over the world. We talked to a couple of people after the service... Someone from the Ivory Coast, the Philippines, and El Salvador. Talk about all over! We might meet with the lady from El Salvador later this week! :) PTL!

We then went to a French restaurant that was tucked into a small street called "Pomidor" and it was fantastic! Even though it broke the bank a little, it was well worth it. I decided that living on a tight of a budget as I have right now can be stretched once or twice while in Paris. We had to wait for it to open though, so we killed time in a bookstore called "San Fransisco Books" because we needed "Le Guide Vert" for the personal excursions we're required to go on while in Paris. Kevin M. found one on sale... PERFECT! I was also able to buy some French comic books... hooray for my future French students! :)

With classes starting tomorrow, we (the Taylorites) decided that we should get to bed at a decent hour but that we should start a routine of meeting for prayer and encouragement at least three times a week. Tomorrow, we'll do it during breakfast and it will be a great send off for the first day of classes. We hope to continue this through out the semester, so we'll see how that works, especially when we're with our host families in Tours.

I'm really enjoying Paris and starting to think and talk in French, but I'm also starting to miss home and Taylor. It hit me today that while I have been blessed with a great group of people to surround me, I miss that accountability and familiarity that home and Taylor provide. I'm not mopey by any means, it's just all nostalgic.

I love you all!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Après ça, le Louvre...

So, that was a quaint little play on words, but it gets the point across, yes?

Today, we went to the Louvre and saw a few Middle Age to Renaissance paintings, all explained by a lovely lady, Vicki Marie, who has completed several doctorates on the subjects in Art History. It was incredible and full of great information, but my mind is a bit tired. We were there for 4 hours before stopping for a break and lunch. That was at about 2:30pm. Needless to say, we were all a bit hungry, after eating a little piece of baguette and café au lait to drink around 8:15am this morning. It was well work the hunger pains, though.

Now I'm sitting once again in the lovely spot where I can see the Eiffel Tower and rest my feet. I have been walking a lot, which I love, but my body must get used to. I finally bought stamps/envelopes to send letters to the US, so that was a victory. Now for paper to write letters on... that would be the kicker... hahaha. I'll figure that out eventually.

I'm trying to live on a budget, so spending that much money on lunch at the Louvre (and we're talking about 8 euros, was a bit painful to my pocket. So, us Taylorites have banded together to grab extra baguette in the morning and use it as part of the meal later. That's what I'll have tonight with a little PB, thanks to Mom's last minute foresight.

The weather is beautiful here... chilly at morning and night, but gorgeous during the day. Apparently the nice weather is not to last and it will soon be raining on our heads, but I'll enjoy the nice weather while I can. I went up to the terrace again today, which was very relaxing. I'm loving Paris and I want to explore more, but I need to buy a good Guide Vert and a map de la ville, ASAP. Maybe later today, maybe tomorrow. All I know is that I'm sick of worrying about money, and it's only the beginning...

Friday, September 11, 2009

My First Full Day in Paris

Wow. I feel like that's all I can really say. It seems impossible to me that I have traveled over an ocean just a couple of days ago. Paris is more than I remember. Maybe that's because I didn't really experience Paris when I arrived as a fresh high school graduate two years ago.

Today, I live on the rue St Michel in a boarding house of sorts for the students of Sorbonne. It's actually just a block or two over, which makes me feel very studious. La rue St Michel is a very busy street with lots of shops and sandwicheries on it. Abbey, my fellow Taylorite and my roommate, and I ate both of our meals today at a Kabob place- first sandwiches for lunch, then crêpes for dinner, all under 7 euros total. Talk about a good deal. Just to put things into perspective, they (BGSU) allotted about 20 euros per day for meals. My mother would be so proud :)

We took the oral proficiency test today and I was disappointed to be placed at intermediate, below some others in the group, but I realized that it was probably for the better and I should just take that piece of humble pie and savor it. I feel as if God is teaching me the art of true humility by thrusting me into the foreign culture where people automatically switch to English when they hear me speak and I cannot rely on my own resources. Thanks, God. Thanks. I'm really overwhelmed by the idea of these classes and writing reports and having to explore Paris on my own, but I suppose things will work out fine. I'm so nervous and I'm trying really hard to give up my anxieties, but it's not working as well as I had hoped.

I have been blessed to run into some great people, though. Abbey and Kevin Mattice are my two fellow Taylorites and they're awesome. We've gone exploring a little bit... Lunch for instance was sandwiches that we ate in the Luxemborg Garden, which happens to be basically right across the street from our residence... And we plan on going to many other places because Kevin has a great little tour guide book that his grandmother bought for him.

I'm sitting in the library in the Foyer (my place of residence) and I can see the Eiffel Tower outside of the window. It is beautiful. On the seventh floor, there is a terrace that beholds a view of all of Paris. It's absolutely gorgeous. We all went up there, via the stairs, last night to see the view of the Eiffel Tower and waited around for it to start sparkling at 9pm. C'était magnifique! I went up there this morning to journal and read my Bible... what a great way to start the day! I hope to spend a lot more time up there!

Tonight, we are walking through Paris, maybe we'll take the boat tour... I don't remember. Tomorrow, we hit the Louvre for the day and then do more touring after that. I have a lot of things I need to do and I'm panicking a little on the time management concept, but again, everything will be great. I'm super excited for the day trip we're taking to Chatres next week! I love that cathedrale so much and it exites me to go there again for a 2 hour tour! :)

Well, it's 7:32pm our time, and I have other things to do... Except I should mention that I had the best ice cream in the world today... It legitimately competes with the best Italian gelato places in Italy... I know, I know. :)

Monday, September 7, 2009

2 Days to Go

So, I feel a little silly having started this blog as soon as I did, but you have to understand the mentality that I had when I made it... "Maybe I'll get in the habit and it won't be hard to just get on and write when I'm in France..." We'll see how that goes...

I leave on Wednesday at 1:50pm from Colorado Springs and I'm going to arrive in Paris the next day at 9:45am. Saying that over and over in my head has helped me realize that this is really happening and that I need to finish doing the packing and last minute school paperwork, but it remains, to some degree, surreal to me. God has blessed me so much this summer that I am having a difficult time leaving. I have been built up and challenged this summer in a very gentle way and I feel like it is about to come to an abrupt halt. Moving to a different country will stretch me in ways I did not know existed. I am looking forward to the result, but not the painful process to get there.

I am packing a suitcase, trying to heed the advice of those who have gone before me, but it's been more difficult than I anticipated. "Do I really need this big of a suitcase?"... "Yes, I do because I want to buy stuff while I'm over there"... "What if it gets lost amidst the other luggage and doesn't find me until I'm in Tours..." Silly, huh? I have no control over the situations that are running around in my head, but I am more than willing to get hyped up. The packing will work itself out and the luggage will be there when I need it... however you define "need"...

I find myself missing my friends from college at this point. Having heard of their lives in the cornfields starting back up again, I sit here and stare at the majestic Pikes Peak and think of the new beginning that I am forced to make in two days. I could make it sound dramatic and say that I will be surrounded by strangers and not be able to connect with anyone, but that would be putting God in a box. I know he will do great things and I want to be a vessel for him in the broken country of France, but I fear that I will not be worthy of the calling.

Please pray that I have safe travels on Wednesday, that my family would rest in the fact that I am in God's hands and there is no better place for me to be, and that I would have courage to share my beliefs with those I come into contact with. I would greatly appreciate hearing from you this semester and still being included in your lives. Thank you!